As I sit here and reflect of my year living in Haiti, I wonder how it’s even possible that I will be heading home in just days. I remember all the exciting thoughts of living in Haiti, a country that I myself new very little about. However, with that excitement came butterflies, a mind fearful of the unknown, a heart sad to leave so many loved ones behind, but a Spirit at peace. Here I am a year later with all these very same feelings as I prepare to go home. I begin to question the things that have yet to been done and the many faces that I want to see prior to my departure. I have come to realize I will no longer be among the Haitian community here; my returns will now be only visits. I dislike the thought that many of these babies and little children will forget who I am (selfish I know), but it is true.

My American community is going to change completely. The memories and hours upon hours spent with my family here will no longer be present. I no longer will eat, sleep, work, play and breathe with Aubs and Brooke. I will no longer find myself hugging Papa Jim each day, seeing Mama Cheryl fiddle with anything she can get her hands on, the many many nights of Wizard, the laughter shared, the hot exhausting walks to Chambrun, the sounds of machetes cutting brush and the morning activites on my morning runs….the list goes on and on and on! Many people think that I have been in Haiti loving and serving the Haitians here, but I too have received from them the same. God says in Galatians 6:7-8: “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.”

Our Family

The Interns aka Alpha Squad 🙂

The Triagio!

I still find myself trying to process so many things in my mind, and still yet have no idea how to. I’m often asked how are you doing? Whats going through your mind? How are you processing it all? Are you really heading home? When are you returning? Honestly I’m not sure I have an answer . I’d like to say day by day it changes but its more like moment to moment. You may laugh or think it is completely weird but I would compare it to the birth of a child. No I haven’t birthed a child! However, my Mom has birthed 6 and has always said with the birth of a child comes a rush of every emotion imaginable. For me I feel that is exactly what I am going through.

Waves of every imaginable emotion possible. But the beauty of it all is God’s plan is greater and better than I can ever possible imagine.

 

The Word says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. “ It is through faith that I know God uses all things for His Good!

Clinic Crew!

With that being God never promised that life decisions were going to be easy. The reality is there will always be reasons to keep me here, but it’s not about me, its about surrendering my life to His will daily. It is a walk of obedience and knowing that when God closes one door another will open and that it isn’t what I am doing it is what God is doing through me. I didn’t come to Haiti to put my life on hold, or to do my duty; God has lead me here and it has been a privilege. It has been a blessing to serve the people of Haiti!

Everyone has a story of their own.

 

Proverbs 3: 5-6     Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.